Finding Words

ella strawberriesMy Ella read Pride and Prejudice, an abridged version of course.  Now we are watching the movie and we are all smitten, and I think they finally understand why I wanted to name the dog Mr. Darcy.  It occurred to me this morning that my Ella is very much like Ms. Elizabeth, and that made me smile.  Her unapologetic wit, oh the wit.  This characteristic is both an asset and a problem, depending on the circumstance.  But truth be told, either way I find it admirable, considering her mother is never able to say what she wants to say when she wants to say it.  Like last weekend on the soccer field when a parent from the other team yelled at me and forced me to tears.  I thought of at least 20 responses after I left the field, all of which would certainly have silenced him; but in the midst of the moment all I could muster up were tears.  It both affirmed my hatred of competitive sports, and then simultaneously made me proud of my daughter for working so hard to compete in something so difficult to be a part of.

In other news, this month has been one of my favorites of the year so far;  full to brim, as I know it has been for you also.  It’s true what they say about May,  May is the new December for mothers with school age children.  I traveled to New Orleans with my friend Angela.  She was speaking at an event, and I went along so we could finally have a moment to catch up on life.  We talked nonstop the entire flight, and then I was also allowed the privilege of running her merch table, which satisfies my childhood dream of playing store.  It’s a win-win for everybody.  And then there were beignets at Cafe du Monde, which I think is a fancy, New Orleans way of saying funnel cake.  In the part of the world where I grew up, we call them funnel cakes, and we eat them along side of a corn dog and a stick of fried butter….not coffee.  Whatever they’re called, I like them, and we ate them….cafe du monde

There was a hidden blessing in it though.  I saw what it’s like to get off a plane and look for the person smiling and waving, and then get in their car and trust them not to murder you.  I was speaking the following weekend to a mother’s group in Ohio.  I didn’t know them, they just asked me to come and I said yes.  I had to put aside all fear that it was an elaborate plot to kidnap me and hide me in a basement.  It turns out I’m not that important, and they really did just want me to come and be real right along side of them.  That weekend I taught about calling, purpose, and Moses; and how all we really need is a grain-sized amount of faith and a touch of obedience, and then God will do the rest.  That was quite ironic, as I sat in my hotel room personally struggling through that very truth.  It is proof that we teach best what we have lived (or are living), and that God has a sense of humor and doesn’t miss one tiny detail. photo

Then we moved straight into Beautiful Life with my girl Angela, who brought a message on light that I am still in awe of.  This year I wanted to represent “the bride of Christ”.  I think we all need to remember that God really does see us as His bride in white.  Most days I forget, but when I remember and receive it, it will stop me in my tracks.  And because my church is awesome, and because my friend Jeff is a rock star, and because I have really great friends, we all made her come to life.the bride of christ

And that brings me to June, my month of slow, that is but a prep month for July.  Oh July.  In one month I will be looking at this:africa

One unexpected truth I have learned about going on a mission trip to Africa, is that controversary rises up when you tell people you are going on a mission trip to Africa.  I have been amazed at the opinions that quickly surface, sometimes in boldness that I have no words for.  Which brings me full circle to where we began.  I can never find the right words to say, when I want to say them.  Where is my Ella when I need her!?!?

 

Looking back and ahead on this Friday

April was powerful.  We saw a lot of answered prayer in April.  I love that.  I’m just now at age 36 starting to learn about this whole prayer thing.  It turns out, it’s not just a cliche thing Christians do.  Who knew?  It takes humility and faith to pray; s0 as I humble myself more (or He humbles me more…ouch) I seem to make better progress towards the goal.  And here is something else I learned this month…it’s kind of huge and my approach to share it flippantly is somewhat absurd, but He is the goal.  Did you know that already?  If you did and didn’t tell me, I would like to know why, because that has been kind of a game changer for my life.  He is actually the answer to everything (which yes, I know, that really sounds cliche), but I have settled into that truth this month the way I settle into my bed at the end of a long day…and I have discovered rest.tulips

I’ve needed rest, because this past year has been not so restful.  Life has been full.  Good full, but hard full too.  Testing full.  Life is showing no signs of letting up, but now that I know Jesus is the answer, I kind of feel better about what’s ahead.  And what is ahead?  Beautiful Life with Angela Thomas is coming up at the end of this month.  She has been in her writing cave studying and praying, and I am so excited about this 2nd conference.  You can click here to buy your tickets.  I’m flying to Ohio in 3 weeks to speak to a group of women I do not know, but kind of think I might love for the rest of my life once we meet.  And then my husband and I leave for Zimbabwe soon after that for 15 days.  Ummmm…what?  The tickets were booked this week and I wish you could feel my increased heart rate as I type.  It’s intense, but in all of it, there is a mysterious peace blanketed over us.  It’s warm and familiar and I just want to stay wrapped up.

the3

On the flip side of business, the pace of homeschooling is slowing, which is a tremendous help.  Something else that’s a help?  My oldest child has become an adult this past month, which is both sad for her momma’s heart, and helpful at the same time.  She came to me yesterday and said, ” I spent thirty minutes on the phone with Apple Support trying to fix the problem.  They couldn’t figure it out and so I made us an appointment at the Apple Store at 2:20.”  Wow.  My ten year old sat at the Genius Bar solving the world’s problems with some guy named Mo, and I sat at the Idiot Bar in the corner waiting for her to be done.  Let me say it again, that child is my gift.  While Ella is running the world, my middle joy is doing the thing all middle children do, trying to figure out where her place is, other than stuck in the middle.  She’s doing it with grace and beauty that is far more mature than her age, and I’m so proud.  And then through all the chaos and fullness, there is Thomas.  The one who is always smiling, always agreeable, and always genuinely joyful in all circumstances.  Thomas in a nutshell is this: when I tell him to go get his shoes on so we can leave for swimming, he happily goes and puts on his flippers and waits for me patiently at the door.  I. could. die.

And if my children were not enough to overflow my heart, my sister this week texted me this message below.  Her son sent in his application to the mission committee before she was able to proofread it.  The committee emailed my sister a copy and said, “Tell Jack thanks for laughs.”  The two questions:

1.  What is your intended vocation?  His answer: Pastor

2.  How would someone describe you who knew you well?  His answer:  Super, super attractive, and sort of nice.

jacks

So if anyone is in need of a super, super attractive 14 year old pastor…who is sort nice; please let me know.  I’ve got your man.

Life with kids can be so fun, and now the weekend is here which means my man will be home, and we will all be living on a soccer field.  My non-cliche prayer for you this weekend is that you would be bold in prayer.  Even if it feels weird, even if it feels like you are only talking to yourself.  Take whatever your thing is into the Throne Room of the Most High, and speak it to Him boldly.  He didn’t suffer and die on a cross so that we would tiptoe into His presence.  In utmost reverence and humility, be bold, He’s waiting to hear from you.  Enjoy your weekend sweet sisters.

PS:  All these photos can be found on my Instagram, my favorite social media.  You can find me there at playing_sublimely.

 

The Joy of Creating

Without a doubt, the most critical piece to any creative work is the spiritual inspiration behind it.  It’s critical because without it (at least for me) there is no creativity to work with at all.  But there is another reason it’s so critical, maybe even a more important one.  When you know that you are doing it for the Lord, when you know that you are being directly inspired by Him and for His glory, simply put…you just end up doing it better.  The “duty” of the work is removed, and all that you have left is joy.  I can’t produce anything worth looking at out of duty or responsibility, but when I work to create out of joy…suddenly I have freedom to do the thing well.

There was a lot of work that took place to make this event lovely, and being the lucky girl that I am, I have a lot of really great friends that joyfully did it with me.  There was no way I could have installed all that we installed by myself.  Literally no way at all.  They all rallied baby-sitters, cut out more butterflies than I can count, spent two long days helping with installation, and most importantly, they encouraged and said “you can totally do this”, when I was saying “I don’t think I can do this”.  They helped make our not so pretty church gym, into a beautiful dessert room to bless the several thousand women that walked through those doors.

(Smitten Photography)

(Smitten Photography)

(Smitten Photography)

(Smitten Photography)

And I as I mentioned and fully meant, it was a lot of work.  The team of lighting/audio/stage guys at our church are among some of the most talented in the business.  All their behind the scenes work made our stuff look good, down to the smallest detail. They too, did it all in joy, and we had a great time working together.  I tried to remember to take pictures with my phone along the way to document the process.  We started with 4 blank canvases as our backdrop.  

First we painted.

Then I troweled on several different layers of the most beautiful pink and orange plaster my eyes had ever seen.  This picture does not do it justice.

Next I added the chandeliers.  They were applied using a stencil and it can be found and purchased by clicking here.

Once our backdrop was complete, I moved to focusing on our “lady”.  One of the guys from the stage/lighting team introduced me to the coolest store.  It is a warehouse full of both new and old store fixtures and accessories.  

We had fun.  Can you find Thomas?

We considered making our woman pregnant….

But ultimately decided against it.  We took home this lovely and got to work.

I spent a solid two days dying muslin fabric different shades of pink, and all the while, still not knowing if any of this was going to work.  God had a little hidden treasure in this process for me, one that I wouldn’t trade for anything, now that I’m on this side of it.  This particular project was one that could not be “tested”.  There was no way of knowing if it would all come together and look right until the last day.  I knew what was in my brain, but I couldn’t do a dress rehearsal in advance.  In hindsight, it was so clearly a God thing.  I had to let it go on faith, and trust that He would complete the good work.  


And so without any other option, we just let it go and believed, and He did it.

And to my dear Angela, who loves well, thank you for letting me be a part of this.  I know I told you many times that you had the wrong girl, but I actually think I was wrong.  Perhaps I was just the right broken girl to demonstrate how a lot of broken pieces can come together and be made beautiful in Him. It wasn’t difficult for me to find the words of brokenness to cover all over her dress…indeed that came easy.  Maybe you had picked the right girl, one who still daily clings to those very scriptures that we attached to butterflies and hung all around this created lady of ours.  Maybe you had the right broken girl after all.  You are a blessing and a delight to me…what a joy it all was!

(Smitten Photography)

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When God Shows Up

I have been searching for words since last weekend.  I sat across the table from my husband Saturday afternoon (for the first time in several days) and attempted to put together words to interpret the emotions…I had nothing.  Nothing.  It wasn’t exhaustion I was feeling, though I was tired.  And it wasn’t shock, though just a few days earlier I never would have believed how great the weekend was about to turn out.  It was more like joyful contentment.  There just wasn’t anything to say really.  God showed up, He did everything I was afraid to do, He pulled it off, and I was humbly privileged to watch it all unfold.

This past weekend was the Beautiful Life conference with Angela Thomas at our church.  Angela emailed me about a month ago and asked if I would be willing to help pretty things up for the conference.  I tried for a week or so to convince her that she had the wrong girl, but then I became too excited to not jump in and go for it.  Suddenly I was creating artwork that I couldn’t stack and hide in the corner of my art room, and therefore quickly became afraid of what I had gotten myself into.

Once I allowed my brain to catch up with my heart, I knew I wanted to do more than just make the tables pretty.  I wanted to somehow artistically create the message that Angela would be teaching that weekend.  I wanted to create a woman that God redeems.  I wanted to represent what happens when a girl who is guilty, weary, ashamed, alone, and afraid; hides herself in her God that is willing and able to redeem her.  I wanted to show how He takes the broken, and makes them beautiful for His glory.  What I was really doing was telling my story, with a strong suspicion that there would be others that could relate.  And so we created her, and she was indeed beautiful:

There was so much about this process of creating that I want to share.  I intend on talking your ear off with the details soon, but just one more reflection for today before I close.  Several weeks before the conference I was sitting outside with my children eating a late dinner.  The sun was setting and the colors in the sky were so spectacular that we all stopped and noticed.  At that moment, I whispered a small request to God before the colors disappeared behind the horizon.  I asked Him if He would give me just a grain of sand amount of His creativity for this project that I had quickly approaching…because all creativity really belongs to Him.  He is the original Creator; the One that was, and is, and yet to come. All I needed to do was get out of the way and let Him do His thing.  So I did, and He showed up, and did His thing…. all for His glory.

More to come later.

Love, Amy

All photographs are courtesy of Sharon Clark, the amazing genius behind the camera for Smitten Photography.

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