Samantha is the creative mind behind the blog Crafty Texas Girls.  She is a stay at home momma to two precious daughters, and wife to a great guy that adores the women in his life.  Read along as Samantha tells a story that we all have experienced, and then click over to her blog to say hello.

Oh the mother- daughter experience! Is it okay if mine starts off with tears at Chick-fil-a? I have two young daughters, Afton who is 5 and Maisy who is almost 2. They are the light of my life. Sometimes it seems like my heart is walking around outside my body. When I tuck them into bed at night, I am always happy for a break. But within an hour I am on the computer looking at their photos and blogging about them!

So today after a pretty smooth shopping trip to Ikea, I was persuaded (aren’t 5 year olds clever!) to take my girls to Chick-fil-A for lunch. Immediately my toddler refused the high chair. So we settled into a booth and I quickly cut up nuggets and fruit into bitty bites.

For maybe five minutes we ate and then the fun began. Maisy used the booth as a trampoline jumping up and down. No problem- it’s a fast food restaurant. Then she started patting the woman’s head behind us. A bit of problem- her fingers were covered with ketchup and the woman was not amused. All the while I am using my sweet, calm mommy voice and trying to keep the meal enjoyable for Afton. I try to get Maisy to sit down- she screams and arches her back. We’ve reached the official ‘problem’ status. Finally I manage to pull her onto my lap.

Quick as a wink, she grabs my salad bowl and throws it into the air. I think the lettuce was actually flying in slow motion, hurling itself on my face, lap and every surface within 5 feet of our table. I look across the table at Afton, her eyes are like saucers and she has her hands covering her mouth. We both stare at each other for a minute before breaking into a fit of giggles. Maisy laughs too and then goes back to jumping on the seat. Suddenly, my laughter turns into tears. Prickly, hot tears. No matter how calm and collected I try to be, here I am crying at Chick-fil-A! Before Afton can spy them, I wipe the tears from my face, clean the table, and take the girls to the play area. This mothering gig is not for wimps!

My relationship with my girls is amazing. It is so intense, passionate, and unique. I feel like ‘Marmie’ from Little Women. I am blessed with these wonderful daughters. They are my sun, my moon, my world. But with that comes so much emotion- love and joy peppered with fear and anguish.

Last week my girls and I watched with wonder as a baby cardinal jumped out of its nest for the first time. The mother bird hovered and squawked, trying to instruct her baby how to fly. Of course this baby bird, had ideas of her own. She was hopping around the yard, clearly disregarding her mother’s instructions. Eventually the baby bird flapped a bit and made it to the top of a bush.

We went inside to play Barbies, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that bird and her mother. I felt we were kindred spirits. No matter how much preparation, care, and good intentions we have- our children are determined to jump out of the nest. They want to try their wings and explore the world on their own terms.

Whether it is a two year old testing the waters of independence or a teenager trying to find her place in the world, we mothers can feel so helpless. Aside from locking them in their rooms forever, we cannot control our children or the choices they make. We must simply do our best. Teach them with love and grace, and hope that one day, they will find our words hidden somewhere in their hearts.

And until then, when you see a mother out in the world, covered in lettuce or hovering and squawking- just smile and say a prayer. Because when your heart is walking around outside of your body, sometimes you shed a tear.

 

If you would like to tell us the story of your Mothering Daughters Experience,  send me an email at playingsublimely@yahoo.com, I would love to hear from you!  If you would like to simply subscribe to Playing Sublimely and have all posts delivered to your inbox, click here, or go to the top right hand side of this page and enter your email address.

Today’s post is particularly dear to me. It comes from my own precious Mom, a Mom that knows what it’s like to love raising little girls. She raised three, and I fall in the middle of my two sisters. Read as my Momma reflects on the little things that she remembers, those fast years when she had her three girls under her roof, years that seem like only yesterday.

What do they say about Mothers of three daughters?  There’s a special place in heaven for them. I don’t know about that, but anyone that has had three teenage girls probably knows something about that little saying. I really didn’t have it all that bad, just girls and all their issues. You know what I mean; picking at each other, fighting over clothes (one pushing the other down the steps for taking her clothes without asking), cars, makeup, and of course boys! Those were the trying times, but we made it through. Most people say they would rather have boys, not me! I loved my girls from the very beginning.

With my first daughter, I was living on Okinawa, Japan, and I was 20 years old.   Their Dad and I were pretty much on our own. The day I had that precious girl was literally one of the happiest days of my life. Back then I said it was the happiest, but then I had the other two, and they proved to be just as joyful. When I first saw that baby girl of mine (Mary), oh my, I’ll never be able to explain how I felt. They could not keep me lying flat. They tried to make me, but I would not listen, I couldn’t help myself! I was just so excited.  I finally had something that was pretty much all mine (her Dad might beg to differ), but I really felt like she was just mine. Mary was always my buddy, and I always told her that she was born old; she acted much older than her age. I do believe Mary was the most like me, and to this day she says, “I turn into you more each day” and she is also the one that looks most like me too!
Then my second girl came four years later. We thought she was a boy! I’m sure glad she wasn’t, what a second joy she was. You talk about a girlie girl (Amy)! There was not a sweeter child on earth! We could not go to the store to get something for her without also leaving with something for her big sister, Mar – Mar! If Mary was my buddy, then Amy was my companion. My husband (Amy’s Step-Dad) and I could not go out to eat without her. Amy would leave us notes, “don’t go out to eat without me”. Amy was a momma’s girl, where Mary was out to explore the world. Mary couldn’t wait to go to college, but when Amy left we both cried. I couldn’t believe my homebody girl was going so far away. I remember the day we took her to college, I really felt like I was leaving my lamb in the lion’s den. I must have done something right because by golly she showed us all and did wonderful!
Last but not least was my third happiest day of my life. My Elizabeth was not really planned but wanted as much as the other two. The thing about my Elizabeth is she looks NOTHING like her mother. I don’t really think that is fair, since I was the one that did all the work! That girl of mine looks just like her Dad and his family… she is a beautiful girl. What a joy she has been, always kept me laughing and still does! Liz was my thumb sucking, hair twisting baby and I loved every minute of her! Her sisters (especially her oldest sister) did not like it, but Liz and I didn’t care. I figured she wouldn’t walk down the aisle with that thumb in her mouth.
What this all sums up to mean is girls are so much fun, and I’ve enjoyed mine from the day they were born. All my girls live away from home, but we love it when we can all get back together again. I truly hope everyone has the memories with their girls that I have had with mine. I’ve loved every minute of every day and I wouldn’t change anything (I did get lucky and get a stepson when he was five, and I’ve loved every minute of that too). These 38 years with my girls have been wonderful and it has been my honor being their Mother!

If you would like to tell us the story of your Mothering Daughters Experience,  send me an email at playingsublimely@yahoo.com, I would love to hear from you!  If you would like to simply subscribe to Playing Sublimely and have these posts delivered to your inbox, click here to do, or go to the top right hand side of this page and enter your email address.

Kathleen Holroyd is a self-described smother-mother, but is slowly working to let go a little more each day. Her favorite bible verse to help her along that journey is Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.  She has been married to her doting firefighter for close to 12 years and is so thankful for his patience and ability to laugh through the day with her.  She is mother to Julia, nearly 11 years old and Kevin, age 8.  Recently she started an Adventure Group with some girlfriends in an attempt to let go of some of her anxieties and fears and she writes about it at http://thehypophobicbadgirls.blogspot.com .

Letters to Julia

Everything I have learned about being a faithful, loving mother comes from my parents.  I have a mother and father who undoubtedly love me beyond measure.  I was not always the easiest daughter to parent, but it never showed.   They loved Jesus first and that was evident in their devotion to one another and their three daughters.   I learned through them that there is no difference between quality and quantity when mothering.  You need both.  I learned that in order to understand your daughter you will need to spend lots of time with her and the time needs to be well spent.   I also know, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I was genetically engineered to be completely and utterly a cheesy parent.  My dad would turn cartwheels in the mall while my friends and I giggled and rolled our eyes behind him. He would send the Army troops he commanded through the house to sing cadence to wake me up.  And my mom….well, my mom loved ABBA.  I have found that my fondest memories of my parents are moments that at the time may have seemed completely embarrassing, but as I look back I realize I was being loved in the best way possible:  through laughter. I have spent these last 11 years mothering my Julia the exact same way.  When other moms casually pickup their kids for the last day of school I am the obnoxious mommy that has decorated her car and screaming for them at carpool and most likely there is an ABBA song blaring from the stereo.  Raising giving, beautiful daughters is hard work, so why not do it laughing?  And sometimes you just have to get creative….

A couple of years ago I began writing letters back and forth with my daughter, Julia.  I knew we were approaching what could be the years of a communication shutdown.  I noticed her love of journaling and thought it was a fun way to see the world through her eyes.   I handed my Julia a folder with blank paper and one letter from me.  I asked that she read my letter and respond whenever she felt like it.  (I have also learned that time constraints usually don’t work with girls. We like to take our time, don’t we?) I began the letters by asking easy questions.  “What is your favorite color?”  “What has been your favorite vacation?”  But, as we continued, we started writing about more meaningful topics….fears, joys, disappointments, tribulations.  I would hear her voice in the letters and knew I was receiving such a beautiful gift. Soon our letters turned into evening conversations.   When I would tuck her in at night she wanted to hear more.  We began having these beautiful and open conversations.  I hold so many of her secrets and I feel so honored.  We still write our letters and I find myself thumbing through them when I feel like life is slipping through my fingers. I am always reminded of the joy my daughter brings to my life.

Here is an early letter and as you will notice nicknames are also kind of a big deal in our family.

Dear Muski,

I love you, Mom.  Do you like me even when I am grumpy?  What do you like most about Kevin?  I love his personality.  He is so funny.  My brother is the smartest kid I know!  We have a lot in common.

Love,

Ribs

Dear Ribby,

I love you so much all the time….Even when you are grumpy.  You are such a special girl.  You are the best daughter EVER!  I like how Kevin can make a boring day fun!  He is a really neat kid.  If a genie granted you 3 wishes what would yours be?

Love,

Muski

So, I will leave you with what runs through my mind everyday as I help to raise our Julia.  “The feeling that I’m losing her forever and without really entering her world.  I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter, that funny little girl. Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute, the feeling in it. Slipping through my fingers all the time.”

Yes, those are ABBA lyrics.  And if that is not enough hokie parenting advice for you this morning I am also including the scene from the Mamma Mia with above mentioned song.  Enjoy and take a moment to embarrass your daughter today. She may write about it in a letter to you one day….not as her most embarrassing memory of you, but as her most cherished.

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If you would like to tell us the story of your Mothering Daughters Experience, please grab a button and send me an email at playingsublimely@yahoo.com, I would love to hear from you!  If you would like to simply subscribe to Playing Sublimely and have these posts delivered to your inbox, click here to do, or go to the top right hand side of this page and enter your email address.