We are weird people

Hair highlights, food regurgitation, and other nonsensical topics…

April 24, 2012

Did ya’ll wonder if I would ever blog again? Who am I kidding…Mom, Mary, and Liz, I’m back to writing on the blog! Wow what a week I have experienced. Have you ever agreed or committed to do something, thought “no big deal, I can do that”, only to later find yourself emotionally curled up in the fetal position wondering why in the world you ever thought you could do what you committed to do?!?! That is where I have been this past week. I am literally emotionally drained, but somehow, miraculously at peace. God is funny like that. And to quote my sister “a peace that surpasses all understanding, is not just a feel good cliche, God can really do that”. And so He has for me. More on what I have been up to to come later, how about today we talk about things that are of no value what so ever. Let’s just be real life girlfriends for a few minutes and talk about all the other life stuff that has been going on this week…just a few random things that have not been emotionally draining. I will warn you in advance, the pictures are terrible, but each was captured with my phone in the middle of the moment.

For starters, I was due to have my hair lighted again. This is a painful process as I usually sit in the chair for 6 hours. My darling hair stylist is getting better with my foils though…this time it took 5 hours. I’m starting to realize that life would be easier for me if I would just admit already that I am not a blond, and joyfully embrace my brunette head of hair. Which brings me to the next thing. I’m getting gray hair. What?!?! Me?!?! I was literally shocked as I began to notice new ones daily around my face. Shocked. I think somewhere deep inside my brain remains a part of me that genuinely thinks I will never grow old. Why else would someone be shocked by gray hair! Though I think this self-realization is interesting and very likely something that I will over analyze some other time, it is not the point of my story. Back to the point, and to answer what you might be wondering: yes, that is a bible in my lap in this photo:

I do my bible studies while I sit in that chair for half a day. They think I’m a freak, and they get all awkward as soon as they see me pull it out of my bag. I find it both humorous and ironic, because here’s the thing…no one would think anything about me sitting around reading People Magazine for 6 hours; and to me, that would be the freaky thing to do. Allow me to explain. After awhile of reading the bible, my brain was beginning to get overwhelmed, and so I switched to the more “acceptable” reading material available at the salon: People Magazine. Within about 5 minutes I was wishing like crazy that there was somebody I knew sitting next to me that I could talk to about what I was reading. All I had was my phone, so I started texting my girlfriends until my fingers were numb. I learned things that have since, undeniably, made me a dumber human being. Like the fact that a “certain celebrity” chews her child’s food up in her own mouth before passing it directly from her mouth into his. You know, like the way birds do. Yes, you read that correctly. Congratulations, you are now dumber. Or how about the fact that someone out there has literally spent time combining the baby pictures of both Prince William and Princess Kate to create computer images of what their child may someday look like. Personally, I thought these “computer image possibilities” were disturbing, and I took a moment to thank God that He is smarter and more creative than our computers. Then I texted my friends to make sure they were aware, so that they too could be as disturbed as I was. I just find it ironic, that that magazine is acceptable to read, but my bible is what is thought to be “freaky” to read while having my hair done. Who knew.

Moving right along. I’m considering suing the Chick-fil-A cow for harassment. While trying to enjoy a nice leisurely lunch this past weekend (aka: spending 15 minutes cramming chicken nuggets down my kids’ throats before we had to be on a soccer field), we were totally harassed by the cow. He would NOT leave us alone. He sat at our table, he pretended to steal my kids’ food until Thomas started crying, he lingered way too long for comfort. It was weird. Finally I asked him to leave us alone and go bother another table, which worked out well because we happened to know the people at the other table. It was quite amusing, and they too were totally freaked out.

Moving right along…a friend of mine was in Paris last week and brought back to me this:

I. have. no. words. When is the last time you have done something for someone that was totally unexpected? Something just to make them happy. I haven’t done that in a long time, and seeing this gift bag hanging on my door, made me want to do something special for somebody else. She knew that I loved Laduree, and so she brought back home a little bit of Paris for me. Just because, and I love her for it.

Lastly, I fear we are ruining my son. The poor boy is spending way too much time playing tea party and sipping lemonade with his sisters and babysitter, not mention, they give him anything he wants. He is going to be rotten! We are either ruining him so that no woman will ever want him, or we are grooming him to be the worlds greatest husband. I’m not sure which. My husband spends most of his evenings wrestling with him and teaching him to fight, all in an attempt to counteract everything us girls put him through all day. My only consolation is that our pastor was the little brother to two big sisters that spoiled him too; and he is without a doubt, one of my favorite men walking the planet. You give us hope Pastor Don!

I’m done now. Love ya’ll for reading with me here, and from the bottom of my heart, I wish you had been there with me at the hair salon. We would have had great fun flipping through People Magazine, laughing about why any mother would want to regurgitate food into her child’s mouth. I will be less crazy next post, I promise.

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Filed UnderWe are weird people 12 Comments

Loving the Lowcountry Life

April 15, 2012

Spanish Moss does much more than simply drape itself over the wise, old arms of great oaks. It somehow also slows the heart rate of every good southerner, while transforming “a few days off” into “vacation”. It’s a magical thing that moss, and we love it. We have enjoyed an early summer this past week while our girls were on spring break. Even the gators are beginning to grow on me a bit.

It’s Mr. Darcy’s favorite place on earth. He swims out way too far, pursuing the balls that my husband throws…way too far. Do you remember the dog from the movie JAWS? His name was Pippet. Pippet’s poor owner used to enjoy throwing the ball real far into the water for him too. Poor Pippet.

Sorry, I digress…My husband and I snuck away for one of our nights into Charleston. It was my birthday, and the man knew the way to my heart. We spent the day walking through the arts district downtown, gallery after gallery. It was such a treat, and there were even a few artists painting in their galleries, which was fantastic. Here are a few of my favorites that we walked through, and several paintings that I loved:

The Smith Killian Fine Art Gallery: This was the gallery I was most excited to visit. They display the jaw dropping work of an artist mother and her triplet children (all artists as well). How very cool is that! I loved their work. To call it stunning, is an understatement.

image: Betty Anglin Smith

image: Shannon Smith

Reinert LePrince Fine Art: This gallery was an unexpected treat. I had seen and loved the work of these two artists before our trip, but I had no idea they were from Charleston. As soon as we walked in and saw the first painting, I knew it was the work of Kevin LePrince. His sea birds are amazing, whimsical, but elegant at the same time. He and Rick Reinert were both painting in the studio that day. They were kind and gracious, I loved meeting them both.

image: Kevin LePrince

image: Rick Reinert

Lastly, we also managed to eat at Husk Restaurant. We couldn’t pull off dinner reservations as they book about a month in advance. Lunch however was wonderful, and in my opinion, it was worth all the buzz.

And yes, that is a cheeseburger that I ordered at a seaside restaurant. Kevin LePrince recommended it, so how could it be a bad choice? I ate every bit of it Kevin, and it was delicious.
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Filed UnderStuff to paint, We are weird people 8 Comments

The best reality TV that is not actually on TV

March 29, 2012

I have never been a fan of reality television. I promise I don’t mean that in a self-righteous kind of way, TV is just really not my thing. I hate uncomfortable, awkward situations; and since creating uncomfortable situations seems to be the goal of most reality shows….I would prefer most anything to watching them. My girlfriends all watch “The Bachelor”, and throw these silly “Final Rose Ceremony” parties where they all congregate at one person’s house to watch this not-so-real-life soap opera. They always invite me even though they know I don’t watch. I took them up on their invite a few weeks ago because I had been missing spending time with them, and I thought to myself, well it is a party. Surely we will all be able to just hang out, chat, and catch-up while the worst show on television is on in the background. Little did I know, those are not the rules. There is no talking during the show, only analyzing and predicting. In fact, if “someone” does talk, the remote comes out and we hit the pause button until “that person” stops talking. I was watching with my hands over my eyes, peeking only occasionally like someone would that was witnessing something surreal and tragic. Perhaps something like a train wreck. You don’t want to watch, but you can’t help but peek. I don’t think they will ever invite me back…

Believe it or not, this post is not supposed to be about “The Bachelor”, but rather a different kind of reality TV that I am weirdly obsessed with. It’s the live bald eagle video cam that my girls and I can’t get enough of. We keep it running most of the day and are constantly monitoring and reporting the status of these eagles. Momma and Daddy Bald Eagle have been taking fantastic care of their eggs for quite sometime now. We officially have two hatched eggs, and I believe the third one is working on his arrival (hatching takes time). The girls and I sit and stare at the IPad way too much, obsessing over every little detail. We wonder things like, “Oh no, the Dad hasn’t come back in awhile, maybe he abandoned the mother”. Or, “The nest is looking a little raggedy, I think that mother better fill in that hole with some sticks.” Or sometimes we wonder things like, “Is that a dead rat or a dead fish that Dad just delivered for dinner, and why is the Mom ok with it?” Occasionally my husband will walk through the room and say something horrible like “Caroline, I sure hope that baby bird doesn’t fall out of the nest”. Caroline squeals for me to confirm that her Dad is just trying to annoy her, and that that will not really happen. My husband laughs and laughs. It’s great fun, you should totally be watching this. The babies are fluffy and adorable and fight in the nest. Come to think of it, it actually is a lot like “The Bachelor”. All the girls on that show are adorable and cute and they all fight in the “nest” too. I”m just kidding Anna…I couldn’t resist. Did I go too far? Now you are really not going to invite me back are you?

The web cam address if you are interested in watching the eagles raise their babies is:

http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles

And because I find it impossible to post a blog without a picture, how about this totally non-related series of photographs from last week:

And yes, I did choose to photograph it, instead of stopping it. I did holler at Thomas at the last minute and tell him to stop. We were able to save Caroline, but we lost the leopard print umbrella that she was shading herself under…which was indeed tragic.

Happy weekend to you all!

Love,

Amy

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Filed UnderCaroline, We are weird people 6 Comments

More remodeling, some painting, and a touch of bad parenting

January 30, 2012

Some days I am convinced someone is playing a prank on me. I stop and look around certain that Ashton Kutcher is hiding behind a door ready to walk out and reveal that I have been “punk’d”. But wait, do they only “punk” celebrities? I suppose that is not an option then. Regardless, this week I felt that way…several times actually. So much of it I can’t blog about, I wish I could, you would be highly entertained. Some things however are best left “unblogged”.

This semi-truck that pulled into my driveway last week is not one of those things however. I stood at my front door in a robe, towel in my hair, and coffee cup in hand; while the driver of the truck asked if I had a fork lift to get the 18ft crate that he was delivering, off the the truck. I said no, though I really wish at that moment that I owned a fork lift so that I could have driven it from around the back while wearing my robe and towel. He then asked the next logical question, “Where is your general contractor?”, I replied “You are looking at her”. That really isn’t completely true, my husband does most of the general contracting around here; but at this point I was just having fun with the situation.

So I called my husband away from his real full-time job, to come home and deal with his non-paid full-time job of GC’ing this house remodel, so that he could deal with the semi-truck and the man with the bad attitude. It turns out, we didn’t need a fork lift. The delivery was our garage door that came in much more manageable pieces once the crate was opened.

Also this week, I decided that we needed to seal the ceiling on the porch. Though the raw, unfinished timbers are beautiful and didn’t require finishing, I wasn’t quite satisfied with my level of self-torture for the week, so I convinced my carpenter husband we needed to apply a touch of sheen to that ceiling. He tarped the space with the worlds largest tarp (why do we own a tarp this big?), I strapped a camouflage baseball cap to my head, and starting spraying.

It only took about half a day for two coats:

And now she looks a little more dignified and refined in my opinion:

And so today we switch gears inside. Here is a shot of my existing family room. The new family room is on the other side of that wall; and as I type, our brick masons are jack hammering through the fireplace. The one fireplace is becoming two fireplaces today.

Here they are on the other side trying to figure out the best way to go about this. Notice the blue tarp again. It is now being used to contain dust. I’m getting tired of dust.

This project is wearing on me, and I’m learning that I do not handle chaos as well as I should. It’s all good chaos, and I remind myself of that daily…shame on me for all the times of complaining. For the most part, my husband and I keep it all in good humor, but there are days when we think we might loose it. At one point last week in the midst of my frustration, I pulled into Harris Teeter with all three of my children (in the rain), looking for a parking space. A sporty little car beat my kid-packed SUV to the reserved “parking with children” space. I waited in the distance, watching, prowling would be a better word for it. I just knew she did not have children in that car with her. As she marched her lone self into that grocery store with a darling polka dot Kate Spade umbrella in hand, I wanted to run her over with my truck. That probably would have been inappropriate, so instead I chose to leave her a note. I beckoned to the backseat and asked my girls if they had a piece of paper. Caroline started crying. Ella said “you better believe I have a piece of paper”! As I claimed un-given authority to write such a note , Ella was so excited she offered me colored pencils from her book bag so that I could “make it pretty”. I considered it, I certainly admired her for it, but ultimately decided that this moment of bold assertion on my part was no time for adding artwork. And I’m not gonna lie, I kind of regret that decision a little. Adding color is really always the right decision. At this point, Caroline is now begging me not to write the note. I refused her wishes, and before I could deliver the note to the windshield wiper of the vehicle; Ella had snatched it from my hands and did it herself. Caroline began wailing. Do you think my girls are different?

Caroline spent the entire grocery trip hiding behind me in horror that we might run into the person, Ella marched in front of me with fists clenched, daring the woman to approach us. Clearly, not one of my finer moments, but I have been wrestling with whether or not it was really all that bad of parenting. Ella high-fived me when we left and saw that the car was gone and so the driver had most certainly seen our note. Caroline told on me to her Father the second he walked in the door from work, and then prayed for me that night during prayer time.

Like I said, this project is wearing on all of us….

Amy

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Filed UnderA faux faux finisher, The Second of the Remodel: The Addition, We are weird people 7 Comments